


turning you inside out

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 11:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2268438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr ship AUs meme: One of them being diagnosed with a terminal illness. (Character death is implied, future, and off-screen, but one can't be too careful with tags.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	turning you inside out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [singlecrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlecrow/gifts).



> Originally posted at [Tumblr](http://notalwaysweak.tumblr.com/post/96836107938/singlecrow-also-asked-that-damn-ot3-that-is-all-your).
> 
> Not mine, just borrowing.
> 
> This is dedicated to my grandfather who died when I was eleven. I've missed you for twenty years now, my Da, and I love you.
> 
> * * *

"Maybe they’ll name an element after me," Leonard says.

His partners both just stare at him. Penny’s eyes are shining with tears. Sheldon’s gaze skitters from Leonard’s face to the paperwork in Leonard’s hand, the thin sheet of film sandwiched between the doctor’s analysis and diagnosis.

The doctor is talking about radiation and steroids and chemo and Leonard cuts him off with a quick hand gesture, saying, “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He shoves the paperwork into his bag, heedless of the delicate CT scan, as the glioblastoma nestled against his brain stem is heedless of his delicate brain cells.

*

"It’s funny how they recommend radiation to kill something that was caused by radiation. It’s like homoeopathy on some weird bigger scale," Penny says. "So what do they recommend first? Chemo?"

Sheldon is silent, and Leonard knows he’s figured it out.

"Leonard? Chemo?"

Sheldon clears his throat. “The prognosis for a grade four astrocytoma is poor. Chemotherapy and radiation treatments usually only delay it, not stop it. It’s very rare to be able to remove it all with surgery.”

Leonard watches the realization coalesce in Penny’s eyes. “You’re not going to treat it.” She slides off the couch to kneel in front of his chair. “Leonard…”

"Seizures, nausea, personality changes," Sheldon says. "Memory loss, fatigue, motor control problems."

"Shut  _up_ , Sheldon.” Penny punches Sheldon’s thigh and then folds her arms on Leonard’s knees, dropping her forehead to hide her face.

"The roommate agreement—"

Penny stands up and walks out, slamming the door behind herself.

"Move over." Sheldon pushes his way onto Leonard’s seat, pulling Leonard into his arms.

"We need to go after her," Leonard says, but he doesn’t move, not yet. He settles his head against Sheldon’s shoulder. Sheldon’s arms are tight around him, his breathing shaky.

"I told her the wrong way," Sheldon murmurs into Leonard’s hair.

"It’s okay. I’ll tell her the right way."

The right way is that he doesn’t want to forget them. The right way is that he doesn’t want them to remember him sick. The right way is that he still doesn’t know if he’s being selfish or not, and that’s the part that he’s going to have trouble telling Sheldon as well, because when they put the living will clause into the roommate agreement all those years ago, neither of them thought it would ever happen. Alien abduction and zombie attacks both seemed more likely.

But this is now, and this is happening, and Leonard doesn’t know whether he’s strong enough to fight the inevitable, even if he’ll be anything but alone.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [and back again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2296379) by [Raven (singlecrow)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlecrow/pseuds/Raven)




End file.
